(Be sure to write “OKAY TO REPRODUCE” and include a name if you want a chance for your letter to be included in a future letters column!)
My lawyer, Sherry de Hex, has told me to provide the following statement:
I, [Libby Sk8er Girl], do not condone [pregnancy]. I also do not NOT condone [pregnancy]. As a ridiculous fictional character, you should not look to me for condonation of anything one way or another. That said, based on [a Google search before the comic was drawn/written], it would seem that [you should not skateboard while pregnant], because [your bulbous belly will throw you off-balance and cause you to fall on said massive midriff], which could cause [problems].
If you have any questions about anything ever, don't ask a comic character. We are notoriously prone towards giving bad advice for the sake of drama, comedy, dramedy, or comma. In particular, I am [a manifestation of chaos and bizarre humor], and thus [useless for most things]. You should [make your own fucking decisions (heh…that pregnant chick probably DID make a "fucking" decision…FOCUS, LIBBY!!! sorry, sherry…)]. Other people should only be sources of information, not decisions. Put another way, [pretend you're a spy. Spies gather lots of information, but they don't usually do what the people they get the information from want them to do, because those're the spies' enemies. You wouldn't do what your enemies WANT you to do, would you?], and then come to your own conclusions.
There! Thanks to that…form letter Sherry says she has for any of us to use (something tells me she wrote it mainly for me)…I can now do absolutely anything I want and there will be no consequences at all, ever! (Kind-of like how I said "and not me," rather than "and not I," in the comic today…but less grammar nazi-ish.) At least…I think that's what it means…This is the problem when your attorney is from a different dimension…It's hard to get ahold of her—especially with cross-universal telephone fees being what they are these days. I also don't actually know if Sherry is licensed to practice law…I sort-of just assumed that she's legit, because of that weird hairdo of hers.
Anyway…Even though she's hipster weirdo trash, it's good to have an Anna Log-type for a friend. She helps keep things grounded, even when a nice, sweet comic concept from Brian's mom got swapped out for a ridiculous one, like this! Without Anna, I'd've started asking this pregnant chick to do some sweet tricks. Now, instead, I'm just going to be blithely indifferent and go about my jolly, non-pregnant day while not endangering those who aren't having non-pregnant days!
I do have a question for you, though: What do you think my voice sounds like? Do you picture different voices for each of my friends and me? What do they sound like? Write in and tell us at Sk8erLibby@gmail.com, and maybe you'll be featured in a future Scribb1e! (Be sure to mark it "OKAY TO REPRODUCE"!)
OK. That's enough for this time.