(Be sure to write “OKAY TO REPRODUCE” and include a name if you want a chance for your letter to be included in a future letters column!)
Okay, but how did five aces end up in this game? Is Colonel Bombshell cheating in her first real appearance since March??? (She did appear in the "Chibi" comic from June, but I don't think that counts in quite the same way…) Some guest star she is! That's so rude!!!
Granted, based on the available information, it's possible that I'm the one cheating, but that would be ridiculous. Why would Brian ever depict me as such an unscrupulous louse? I mean, wouldn't you always trust someone wearing a denim skirt and fishnet leggings with a turtleneck crop top? Nobody but good, trustworthy people (who don't cheat at cards) have such a sophisticated fashion sense!
Anyway, those are the factual statements that I've got for you today. I'm sure I have settled all questions you may have, and if I haven't, it's because you're stupid, not because I haven't communicated it (this is like a class taught by an extremely insecure ass-chicken). So, without further ado, I'm gonna go, 'cause I've got a game of cribbage to win!
(Oh, and if you don't know what cribbage is, you should go learn. It's fun!)