(Be sure to write “OKAY TO REPRODUCE” and include a name if you want a chance for your letter to be included in a future letters column!)
Happy Halloween!!! (Almost…The Polarnoids are gonna get to have their comic come out on the day, so they've got way more pressure.) Did you know that Ancient Egyptian pictures of people only had one eye showing so that the pictures couldn't jump out and get you? I don't know if that's actually true, but it's something Brian is pretty sure he heard somewhere once, and verifying his remembering of what may have been a myth to begin with just isn't what I'm about. Instead, I'm going to perpetuate useless nonsense and then wonder why all the people around me are idiots.
Regardless, the more important thing is that my Halloween costume is the shit—which has nothing to do with toilet paper and just means I'm really cool. (Whatever…keeping up with slang sucks.) Also, the witch has a new issue today too. Hers isn't nearly as succinct as mine and ends on a cliffhanger, but part of my contract as a quasi-extant fictional being (who is the sole intellectual property of Brian T. Sullivan) means I have to occasionally cross-promote what's going on with Brian's other farces. (Don't believe I have a contract? Buy some merch or something and I'll have Brian draw one up for next week's comic!) Fortunately, this week I don't have to make my comic have anything to do with BrAnDy'S digital rag. I just have to say it exists and then if you're interested, you'll discover that there's a crisis at the debutante ball, and Brandy's golems seem to be the ones to blame. (Oh. Em. Gee! I just cahn't believe something like this could happennn! And the week of Halloween tooo!)
Yeah, so read that, and maybe think about buying something. Other than that, all I can really say is that November 1st is really the day that schools (from elementaries up through universities) should consistently have off. It's just practical and realistic. People are up late on Halloween…It's a holiday that wasn't dreamed up by history teachers and politicians…Honestly, why hasn't anybody thought of this before? It would be brilliant! And if you don't celebrate Halloween and think this idea is dumb, then you probably don't read this comic, so your opinion and my opinion need not interact. (If you do celebrate Halloween but still think my idea is dumb, then I don't know what to say…We can still be friends, I guess!)
Thanks for wasting some time with me today. I really appreciate it. Brian appreciates it, too, but he's too busy writing Brandy's "Witch Watch" to say so himself, so his opinion doesn't matter!