(Be sure to write “OKAY TO REPRODUCE” and include a name if you want a chance for your letter to be included in a future letters column!)
Did you know that Covid sucks? If so, then I'm sorry. If not, then now you do! (And if you don't believe me, or you have some half-assed agenda compelling you to deny it, then you should probably be hit in the face multiple times by a pro boxer wearing brass knuckles.)
Anyway, after a series of events that are exhausting to enumerate (and not necessarily any of your business), Brian has had Covid since last Friday and has felt like total shit. It took all of his effort to make the 100th Polarnoids for Sunday and this comic for today. Fortunately, he's vaccinated, so he's not dying, but it still sucks, y'know?
But yeah, there you go! We'll be using this as an excuse for any flaws in this week's drawing. Hopefully next week, we can go back to chalking it up to artistic ineptitude! But that is the only irrelevant thing we'll be baselessly attributing to Covid, because this is a web comic that now has a recurring female character who goes around topless, and that is a much more interesting controversy to court.
Speaking of important matters: When Topless Timothy (a.k.a., Dingo-brain McGee) says Siobhán has "Satanic Woman Teats," does he mean that Siobhán is a satanic woman who possesses "teats," or is he saying that all "woman teats" are satanic? Also, do you think Timothy understands that "teat" only refers to the nipple, or is he one of those self-righteous types who uses it as an obnoxious way to refer to a woman's whole boob?
Either way, it is unlikely that Mr. Timothy will be invited back to the comic, no matter how topless he is. After all, Siobhán the Shirtless has cute freckles and a law degree, whereas Topless Timothy only has disproportionately short legs and a bad attitude. Next time a buff hunk with an aversion to shirts appears, I expect him to have normal legs and be less of a frakkin' asshole. (The asshole part is more important than the legs, but I have expectations, regardless of whether an amorphous blob of anger on the internet might say I shouldn't. Then again…maybe I wouldn't notice the legs if the person weren't such a goddamn asshole!!!)
Now, please excuse me as I return to the confines of Brian's imagination before he falls asleep again. After all, he's been awake for 4 hours straight, and that's quite exhausting, given his present condition! Just remember, though: This is a Web Comic about a Sk8er Girl who almost never skateboards, it seems. Don't seek medical advice or cogently constructed worldviews from something like this! (Or, at the very least, don't rely solely on this. No one document is the quintessential guide to navigating life...Especially the ones that brand themselves that way!) But what do I know? My life is perfect, even when my profile is drawn awkwardly!