Why is the sock in this comic so stiff? Why isn't it drooping and flopping around, like socks are known to do? Well, I'll tell you why…It's a really incredible reason…This is gonna blow your mind…Are you ready?…It's because…Brian didn't consider gravity when he was drawing the sock!
Yup! That's the reason! Usually, if some dumb, little detail like that shows up, you can chalk it up to ineptitude.
But why didn't Brian go back and fix it, you ask (annoyingly)? Well, BECAUSE it's just not really worth it. As important as I am, it is sometimes better for a quick, black & white comic to be just that: quick. Sure, notice the problems with a drawing and then remember them and try to improve next time. Brian says that art is a process and that it's more about doing the making of the art than it is about the end result. (I'm not sure I believe that, though…That sounds like a pile of bovine dung being spun to sound EnLiGhTeNeD.) Either way, that's why the sock isn't as droopy as it maybe should be. These things just happen when you're mildly incompetent. Perhaps one day, Brian will graduate from Mildly Incompetent to Marginally Competent, and then it will be a whole different set of problems!
Speaking of problems, isn't it stupid how dudes get to be "confirmed bachelors," while chicks are "old maids"? "Confirmed bachelor" sounds like something you chose to be, while "old maid" sounds like you just couldn't get some guy with "10,000 a year" to marry you, after writing you tediously long letters explaining why he's a raging assbrain, and saving you from the destitution you'd otherwise face, because some putzoid is gonna inherit your dad's house when he dies.
Honestly, though, who really cares? Even if you'd really like to have a special someone in your life, that involves another person. You can't (or, at least, shouldn't) just go out and make a person be your "bae." And like, if someone you're into isn't into you, why would you be into them? That just seems kinda stupid. What's the point? Pining over some dipshit who isn't pining over you is a waste of energy that you could put into something more fulfilling—like, say, a comic about a sk8er girl who makes observations about life while doing insane shit and laundry.
If you don't have a "boo thang" in your life, don't fret it. Don't question who you are as a person or try to dream up some convoluted reason for it. Just go about your business. Find all sorts of cool things to fill your life with. And if you do have a "second half," please realize that that isn't actually an interesting accomplishment. Like…it's probably interesting to you guys, but not to anybody else really. It isn't jealousy, either. It's just…things that don't involve people tend not to actually interest them that much, and your relationship with some dingo butt you met only involves you and the dingo butt. By contrast, when you have pets, people like seeing cute animals being cute, so feel free to share stuff about that. (Note: The cute animal thing does not always transfer over to babies…I, for instance, think babies are dumb and gross.)
So, yeah! There you go! I've solved Society: Just go about your business, and don't worry about all these dumb fucking labels people make up for you (or themselves). It's just not worth it, and even if you don't think you have anything better to do than worry about what other people think of you, you probably have laundry to do, so go do your laundry.
GO DO YOUR LAUNDRY, GODDAMMIT!
Now, excuse me as I go watch Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan with Brian!