Did you know that last Friday was No Pants Day??? If I'd known sooner, there'd have definitely been a comic about it. But would I have been wearing a skirt…or nothing at all? Alas, you will never know, because such a comic was never made. Instead, the internet tells me that today, May 12, is National Limerick Day. Thus, instead of a conspicuous lack of pants on yours truly, I had Brian write a limerick about me. Not only that, but I also wrote a limerick myself, just for the hell of it! You read Brian's limerick above, and now you can read my limerick below:
This sk8er girl has a bare belly,
Which isn't a bowl full of jelly.
To maintain my nice abs,
I eschew taking cabs.
Instead, I just skate to the deli.
Obviously, limericks will sometimes lean on the risqué side of things, which is definitely present in the limerick Brian wrote. My limerick, on the other hand, tries to focus on how people might attain and maintain physical fitness while also cutting down on their carbon footprint. Clearly, I am a morally upstanding fictional citizen who is only here to promote the health of our bodies and our planet.* That is why I wrote the poem I did. It has nothing to do with the fact Brian actually wrote that one first but felt it was kinda dumb and so pawned it off on my Scribb1es™, where it's less likely to be read by people. If that were the story, Brian would be a real asshole, wouldn't he?
Also, if you're wondering why both of our limericks make reference to the fact the skin of my midsection is always showing, it's because you should learn to knit, that's why! No, but actually, it's because the whole bare midriff thing is one of my trademarks. It is a guarantee whenever you see Libby Sk8er Girl material that I will have some skin showing between the bottom of my tops and the top of my bottoms. As a fictional character, physics and reality do not apply to me, and I can wear whatever I want, whenever I want, with zero consequences—unless the consequences are funny, that is!
If you still don't understand, watch some old Looney Tunes cartoons and imagine that, instead of Roadrunner being able to run through the painting on the side of a cliff as though it were a real tunnel, he was able to wear a crop top in Antarctica and not freeze to death. It's that simple! If you really can't understand any of this, then I think you might have a severe imagination deficit. Unfortunately, I don't know how to help you with that, but perhaps a first step would be to chill out a little bit. I hear wearing a crop top in Antarctica is a way to do that, but you could also try knitting! I like knitting a lot, so long as I'm not knitting socks! Socks are the absolute and utter worst. The first one's fine, but then the second one…Ugh! So boring!!! Fuck socks!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go do some skateboarding and then I'll be visiting my pirate friend. His birthday's tomorrow, and I've spent far too much time trying to write a limerick (poetry's hard!) and then scribbling out all of this nonsense. If I don't get to it soon, I'll never finish the sock I'm knitting him as a gift!!! Sorry, but I just have to be going!
* Brian has informed me that, as a fictional skateboarder who never wears a helmet, I should never be seen as a role model or good example for anyone in any way whatsoever. People also shouldn't feel pressured to emulate my appearance, because I'm a cartoon and what looks okay as a cartoon can sometimes look weird as a real person…Damn!